Taking Back Control

As I've gone throughout the day I've decided to face myself. I've decided to face the prospect that at my core I believe little in myself. Its a sad thing to realize but I have to come to grips with the fact that I have allowed myself to be lied to by the Evil One into believing that I wont ever overcome my mental defeatist attitude. I believe fully in God and His power, but like so many of us I doubt His ability in me.
I realized this today playing soccer where I constantly found myself lacking the confidence to simply enjoy a game. Instead I doubt my self and my abilities. I've found this is just a byproduct of me not believing in what God is and can do in me.
However, I'm convinced that I'm not alone. Too many of us live in fear of our past, our skeletons that hide in the closet, our rejections, our anxieties, etc. The Bible calls us to a holy fear of God, ie a deep respect for Him. But it never calls us to fear this world, because as Christ says "fear not for I have overcome the world!" Let us hold onto that promise and claim the victorious, but not necessarily easy life that Christ offers us! I've decided to stop my doubting. When I make these concessions to doubt in hopes that other problems will be aleviated, I'm fooling myself and crippling the hands God has given me to use, and to use well for His Glory. So, let us stand unified and tell Satan "No More!" and live our lives in an unflenching and assured hope in Christ Jesus our Risen Lord!

confusion and correction

So i've decided i'm most apt to write late at night. I've been thinking lately a lot. I guess I just want to encourage everyone to just get real with each other. It makes life so much better. I also want to encourage us to just be the Church as it was meant to be- UNIFIED! I feel that we as the Church get so hung up on pointless debates about free will/predestination, what worship music is better, whether praying to Mary is right or not, etc. In the end all these things are very trivial in comparison to the fact that we all believe in the same basic tennants of the Christian faith namely; the virgin birth, that God created everything (yes it is possible He used evolution for this-thats your call), that Christ lived and died a sinless man and rescued us from our sins when he died and rose again for us, that Christ is comming back again, that we have Christ's Spirit in us when we confess with our mouths and believe in our hearts that Christ is Lord. In the end Catholics, Lutherans, Presbyterians, Baptists, etc. are all the same thing- the Church.

Truthfully I can't think of one person I've ever met who loves the division of the Church into these stupid denominations. Its only because our Church "leaders" can't get over themselves and their unflenching committment to a certain theology, rather than Christ himself, that we have these dumb denominations. And yet I do encourage people to know what they believe and why on these dividing issues. But we should be dogmatic about the things that form the core of our beliefs only. Lets not let politicians divide us because they only want a vote and could care less about the purpose of the Church or its ethics. We should never be more loyal to a politician or political party than we are to our fellow brothers and sisters in the body of Christ. So lets be like the Church of Acts that shared everything, cared for everyone, and excluded no-one. For Christ accepts everyone to come as they are, He just wont let them stay the same once they see the truth of His love. No one can stay the same in the face of Love. Amen!
Much love and respect-
J
"Happy the pure in heart, they shall see God" Matthew 5:8

The Roving Wild

There is a quiet roar in my soul tonight,

I try to keep it controlled,

But today the dam burst.

Like a lion roaring from his cage,

So this force purged itself of its chains,

Even for just an instant,

I felt its Fury,

His indignance at the lurid injustices,

And the forces that perpetuate them,

And I fear the hurricane that rages deep in my soul,

The charge to drop my hands,

And hurl myself headlong into the streets of despair,

Because only the sick need a Doctor,

The medicine I hold deep in my bosom,

Is best served on the cracking streets of heartache.

The Doctor is in,

And I am His hands,

Now free to roam,

A hurricane without warning.

Follow the breadcrumbs from the One I love,

Crack this code,

And unleash the cacophony that is my heart,

A deafening roar,

This roving wild.

My heart (mi corazón)

Today as I wandered throughout the first part of my day I realized a few things. 1. There is so much I want to do! ---- I have a heart for the environment and desire to be actively involved in the act of stewardship of the great planet we have been given charge by God to take care of. It is also part of my character to be active and enjoy the ability to run and compete in athletics, namely soccer. I further have a burning passion to help the poor and misfortunate. I love the Hispanic people and feel a real call to be involved in God's movement in the hearts of our nations immigrants that have been so harshly rejected by a "God led" country. And finally I have to be diligent in my studies as they are- as much as I sometimes don't recognize it- a blessing from God. I must work hard at my studies and be attentive as the gift of attending a major university is not a opportunity that many have. And with this I must use my gifts to aid those who have less than I. Not to mention the love I have for working at my local coffee shop with my fellow baristas. I love our conversations and friendships and hold them very close to my heart (Coffea Island rocks baby!).

But I have only 24 hours in a day and I need a few hours for sleep. This leaves me with a dilemma- how do I spend my time? God I pray you would lead me in wise time management so as t best serve You! And God may this lead to an increased impact on the world around me! I pray people may be touched by Your faith WITH works in me. I pray that people be blessed and touched by my words now. I pray for a change- in Christ Jesus, Amen.

What Happens Next Starts Now

(What I Saw)

It’s not that I don’t know where I’m going,

I just don’t know what happens in between.

The foggy gray patchwork called life sits in the median of a crowded street.

And I wade through the mist in between black and white,

Little appears cut and dry,

Despite the claims of the multitudes,

Because between Heaven and Hell lies Earth,

And while the truth of God is evident,

I thank Him I’m not the one who has to sort out our mess.

(Because of…)

Indeed I stand in the middle of a seven-lane highway

Hoping you don’t hit me,

Knowing you will.

Because Love hits like a Mac truck,

And fragmented love leaves a trail of splinters.

And thus lies my paradox,

Love hurts.

So I’ll count my wounds,

And chalk it up to grace that they aren’t fatal,

Because the heart of love hurts with the hurting,

And cries with the broken heart.

(The Altering Conversation)

Dear God- “Does your heart fracture with the splintering of my mind?

Dear Josiah- “My hands bleed as I pick up your pieces”

Dear God- “O’ Captain my Captain,

-You have my heart”-

(Firing the Rounds)

I’ll bite the bullet,

And chew its steel,

Because my Love wars for me,

And I join the ranks,

To fight for you.

(And Peace.)

_ (my soul) ________