Faithfulness is the Antithesis of Failure

As I near the end of my stay in Costa Rica I've started to reflect on things. I think, what has this trip meant to me? What have I done with it? Do I view the world differently? How have I been faithful (or unfaithful) with the opportunities given to me? These are hard questions, and ones that require a lot of honest reflection. Ones that I sometimes like the answers I'm coming up with, other times I don't like the answers I come up with.

To give a microcosm of my thoughts I keep coming back to our ISA Thanksgiving dinner. Some of the students parents were there and one of the dads wanted us to go around (all 30 or so of us lol) and tell what we are thankful for. As everyone was saying what they were thankful for, I started to probe the fathoms of my soul to find an answer. The word 'faithful' kept coming up. I haven't always been 'faithful' to my God, and I know I've disappointed my family and loved ones at times so I wondered why the word kept coming up in my mind. I eventually realized that despite my problems, trip-ups and mistakes, that above all things GOD HAS BEEN FAITHFUL. So when Chris's dad looked at me and said 'how about you mister thinker in the corner?' I knew exactly what I was thankful for.

In Spanish and then in English I proceeded to tell everyone how thankful I was for God's faithfulness during this whole trip. In short He has been faithful in all things, despite my fears, doubts, failures, and timidity.

During this whole trip He's kept me safe, He's allowed me to be challenged and He has helped me through the hard times and helped me enjoy the good ones. In the loneliness of my room I always knew my Savior was there, wiping the tears from my eyes and comforting me. When I tried to tell of Christ's love to others, He was there guiding my words. When I was so down that I could hardly get out of bed, He was there to encourage me. When I was so frustrated with the ridiculousness of school, He was there to give me the courage to speak up and He provided for a new professor for my class. When I was so frustrated with Spanish, I realized He knew all languages, He knew my words. When I fell, He was the first to pick me up and set me on my feet. God has kept me free from sickness, from danger and more. He has provided for me when I couldn't go on anymore. In my loneliness and depression He guided me to those who have gone before me in His Word that have made the same journey of faith. He has kept my family in good health and alive in His Spirit. He has comforted Cali in my temporary absence. He has blessed her family with the miracle of children. He has guided my brother through his first semester at school and all the trials that includes. He has encouraged my parents in the absence of their sons for the first time. He has kept Cali's parents safe in New Zealand. And He has never abandoned me. He has provided opportunities for me to share His love and salvation with many of my peers. He has shown me the poverty of this land, and given me a heart for them. He has allowed me to rub shoulders with his servants here who are preparing missionaries to go throughout the world. He has provided me a Church for encouragement, and He has provided me the understanding of a language to be able to connect with His body in Costa Rica.

In short, the Lord has been ever faithful to me in Costa Rica, just as He has throughout my life. He has been faithful to those I love, as He always has. How can I doubt my God's power? How could I have ever doubted His Providence? He is above all things and in control of all things. He is and was and is to come. He is my Lord and He saved me in His Son Christ Jesus. He is the Trinity, my God three-in-one. He is the Lord God Almighty and for Him I am thankful. For Him I am eternally grateful. And the more I think, I realize this trip wasn't ever about me, it was always about Him. In the midst of my solitude, He made Himself more apparent. And for that, what I deemed a failure many a time has been a portrait for God's faithfulness. Indeed we are only failures when we give up trying to walk close with the Lord. As David proved, a man after God's own heart is one that continues to truly seek God in humility even after falling flat on one's face. May I never stop seeking God in humility even in my failures, that I may not be defined by them.