This past week has been hard. No sugar coating it, I've felt so helpless in so many areas and it drives me crazy. It's that feeling like something is wrong and you want to fix it but you can't, not because you can't fix something someone has done to you, but because you can't fix something you've done to yourself. Whether it is a situation you have put yourself in, your word you can't break, circumstances you can't change, or even a class you don't want to go to anymore there are tons of things in our lives we have to deal with that we can't change at this moment in time. But I think God blesses us with these things to make us stronger and rely on him more.
For example, I have never in my life had to really watch my money before. I've never been a big spender but a budget wasn't really a necessity. But God is using this to make me more tender to him. He's making me trust in Him like my Majestic Father who freely gives to me as I need it. That doesn't mean I spend like crazy and just chalk it up to 'God will provide', but like Jesus says in Matthew 7:7 "ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." Granted that doesn't mean God will always give us what we want or open the doors we want opened but He promises to give us good gifts.
Furthermore, God has been assuring me in my prayer time. So often I find it hard to pray deeply. I think that if my mind begins to wander while in prayer that somehow I will be sinning against God with my mind. But from reading Genesis 17 it reminded me that God is a God of covenants. He has promised to continue dwelling in me in His Holy Spirit by Grace in Christ Jesus.
Furthermore, God doesn't want bad things to happen in our lives. He exists as our Comfortor, not our tormentor as sometimes I am duped into confusing the two. God is a God of love and compassion, mercy and, in this season especially, a God of grace. The Bible says He is holding back his wrath against us for the time being. God is still just but we are in a time of Grace. I just have to remind myself of his promises daily. We are filled with the fullness of Christ (Colossians 2:9), all believers now and to come are God's chosen people (Colossians 3:12) and that we can have peace in Christ (Colossians 3:15) and that we are truly blessed in Christ Jesus (Ephesians 1:3). And one thing I have begun to learn lately (partly due to Israel Houghton and his gospel music) is that being blessed is a permanent state of being in Christ Jesus. Being blessed has less to do with physical means and more in being supremely called and loved by Christ Jesus. Indeed all men are blessed by Christ Jesus in the promise of salvation. His salvation is all encompassing and is given freely to ALL. "Therefore there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" (Romans 8:1) God's blessings and peace to you all as He has truly blessed me this week with His quiet comfort and peace.
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