inadequacy

I saw a video today that brought back the fresh feeling of inadequacy. I was a student leader on a missions trip to mexico my freshman year of college and one night we got the bright idea to pull an eyebrow prank on a fellow student. It's probably the worst decision I've ever made. It's all on video and I saw it tonight and I felt so terrible because I realized how much I screwed up on that trip. I missed the opportunity to be a true leader on the trip, but instead I was temporarily distracted by fun.

The Devil likes to distract us when we aren't paying attention. Then when we clue-in, we realize what we just did. This was the case on this trip. I wish there was some way to go back and re-do it all, but an "i'm so sorry" must suffice to all those affected.

But, I know I'm not alone in making mistakes. So what do we do when we feel like God surely can't forgive us for what we have done? It's like sitting in the middle of a desert with no water, and you are certain you are alone. The Bible teaches us that God is faithful to forgive us all our sins, but are we faithful enough to forgive ourselves and others? Thats probably the best question. Am I willing to forgive myself, and forgive others when they inevitably do wrong to me? The answer must be yes if I am to daily walk with God, because if He is willing to forgive me, I must be willing to also. God needs men and women after His own heart, and I guess it's a bit selfish to be scolding my own heart. It robs God of my attention and desire, and that's a deeper crime than any midnight prank.