Community

Most people have experienced the feeling of loneliness. I know it's something I've had to fight since coming to Costa Rica. It's not something I'm unaccustomed to, I've known the feeling of loneliness before...but that doesn't make it any easier. God told Abraham his descendants would be "strangers in a country not their own" (Acts 7:6). Indeed the Children of Israel knew what it was like to feel out of place. So this is should not be a new concept to me, but it never seems to be any easier. God doesn't promise an easy life, but He does promise to "never...leave"(Hebrews 13:5). That does bring me comfort though.

In any case when I've felt lonely, I start to clam up and further isolate myself. It's easy to pity oneself and try to just endure it solo. But the Bible is very clear that we can't survive in isolation, and that we have to continue to seek out a community of believers and live in fellowship with one another. Christ prays that we "may all be one" (John 17:21) and I can't be one with the Church if I clam up. But also, God calls us to go and "make disciples" (Matt.28:19) and this does not permit simply clinging to a Christian huddle either. So as I have been encouraged to keep trying, I encourage anyone else to not give up in trying to get out of the "shell" of selfism and be in community with other believers, as well as those who don't believe, that they may know Christ and make Him know!
-Glory to God in the Highest! Bless you Lord Jesus Christ! May I honor your Name today in my community and encourage the brothers and sisters while drawing more to You in Love and Repentance for the Glory of Your Name Jesus Christ. Amen!

stand and don't blink

What does it mean when a decision stares you in the face and you blink? I make decisions everyday, but I always "blink." Sometimes I think that it's just me taking time to be sure, other times I think it's because I'm unsure and unreliable. I want to be sure, at the same time I know that indecision can make the worst decision for you if you let it. It's a simple analogy, a benign daily occurance, but this situation has implications for much more in life.
-God I pray I stand on your principles daily and when looked in the eye by evil I stare back ever resolute in your promises and righteousness. I'm in a new world of different, but similar patterns of evil- new challenges to me that are nothing new under the sun. God here I stand with you-don't let me stand alone. Bring up others to stand with me in Christ Jesus. Amen. Psalm 119:29 & Proverbs 23:17,18.

Landing

So i just got here in Costa Rica! No problems or hiccups with the travel and my roommate is cool and my family is very kind. "Mama y Papa" as they like to be called are very kind and so far i understand most of what they are saying! I'm still a bit nervous about everything but I will just trust in the Lord to calm my nerves. Blessings on you all!
Proverbs 23:17-18
"Do not let our heart envy sinners, but always be zealous for the fear of the Lord. There is surely a future hope for you and your hope will not be cut off."

chillin'

I was hanging with some old friends of mine today and I realized how much things change with time. The perpetual "hands of time" never stop and if you blink you might miss something. It again reiterates the notion that we need to be thankful for what we have, when we have it/them. I just looked around Chagrin Falls and realized how far I've come since high school. I'm not saying I've achieved a whole lot, but I know I- along with everyone else I know- has changed considerably. We are all growing up and taking on new responsibilities and challenges in life.

Since growing up (and out for some of us) is such a natural force of life, I think the key to staying close with someone is growing up with them. It's like old couples talk about "growing old together," I think I need to learn how to grow up WITH someone, and not just by myself. Growing apart from familiar things doesn't mean one is maturing with time. Growing up is taking the good and the bad that life throws you and making it bend as much as possible with the will of God in your life. And making that happen with someone else is difficult (as I'm learning). It's easier to live alone, but who wants that? For a gregarious introvert like myself, I have to consciously make it a part of my life to pray, thing about and fellowship with others. It's too easy to get discouraged and pull my armor around me and hide. Sometimes thats what needs to happen, but most times you have to face your fears/desires/decisions/etc. and trust that each step you take, God's already established before you. Peace on ya'.

Camp and Soccer

Today I came to the realization of how low on the proverbial "totem pole" I am. I am at this camp in eastern kentucky for my major and it counts as class credit. Well we had this stream survey we had to do, but the problem is none of us know about this stuff and we were told by our instructors to "figure it out" - nice. Yeah I get the idea that its team building and we did a good job, but it hit me how my cushy collegiate status really means nothing to anybody. For our instructors it was an exercise, and we were the guinea pigs - without our knowledge. Its like an experiment that means little to them, supposed to be beneficial to us, and makes me feel like a complete idiot- which i'm not. I dunno, I can understand if you want to make me feel like an idiot because I lost you a ton of money, or because I broke something important, but I was like a half-baked fish swimming the wrong way just because they decided to see how well we handled ourselves. I dunno, but when you pay extra money for a course, teach me the right way first and then let me see if I get a handle on it. I get more and more disillusioned with the wacky world of academia every day. Dunno maybe one day I'll get the same way with the real world, but at least thats the reality of it all, this is a weird little academic bubble that is artificially held in place by Uncle Sam and skyrocketing tuition. I'll mean, I'll jump through hoops, just let me know where they are first.

Some of the stuff that goes on in the academic world would cost you your job in the real world but it's normal here. Like paying more for office supplies because you have a contract with an office supplier. Or having your own expensive police squadron of castaway cops to guard the brightest young minds in the state, who don't do late-night emergency calls.

In all reality I just want to see what I can do with the whits the Good Lord gave me, maybe I'll flat on my face, or maybe I'll do ok. Something inside of me just wants to get out, I want to spread my wings and fly and have someone who has actually succeeded in a private enterprise show me a few of the ropes and what it takes to survive. Until then, and even in that time I'll just keep working diligently at the work God has given me. I can't complain because of the bountiful opportunities given to me...but I can let off a little frustration.

On another note: Major League Soccer and American soccer (real football). I watched the LA vs. ChivasUSA game tonight and I realized how much I cannot stand the LA team and franchise. This team pays butt-loads of money to bring in a foreign coach with a streaky track record and a GM without any success and the worlds biggest name is sports and roll the dice. Turns out the coach and GM get fired and the big player, well he's still pretty good. Then, on the other hand you have a struggling ChivasUSA franchise that has a good team, won some stuff last year but doesn't have the big names. These guys get treated by the league like second-class citizens to the LA team with a bunch of miss-fitting and often awful players. The broadcasters are practically cheering for the LA misfits and the league gives them not the regulated 1 Designated Player (whose salary doesn't count against the salary cap- each team got 1 DP slot last year) but 3 DP slots (unofficially)! Yeah and while they all talk about parity and all this crap, they give one team an unfair advantage and yet they still suck! And the ref's call the game for the LA misfits continually! All I have to say is wow, and I'm more of a ChivasUSA fan now than ever (second to the Columbus Crew!). My American soccer league doesn't need teams that are huge cash "blackholes" that play like a college team. Well thats my rant for the evening...

Robinson Forest Camp

Today was the first day of Robinson Forest NRC camp. We did some tree identification today and that was fun. It's gonna be interesting having a class in a hands-on setting. We'll see how it goes, hopefully it will be interesting and I'm sure it will be beneficial. I'm more interested in the plant aspect of it all as well as the geology but we'll see. God blesses me daily with support in simple ways, such as getting my keys back out of my car after I locked them in there. Anyway blessings and peace to all. Dios te bendiga (God bless you).

A Return To Normalcy

I'm not letting this one slip by,
But something's driving me crazy and I don't know why,
A fairy tale,
Is exactly that,
But all I want is a return to normalcy.

You and I know the drill,
Love,
Hurt,
Forgive,
Repeat.
But it's at love that we always meet.

I see the castles in the sky,
But on Versailles road as I drive by,
Stop and stare,
Wondering if fairy tales are true,
Realizing its a lie.

In the story books,
Normal people become heroes,
Do extraordinary things,
I thought the normal was a bit hazy,
Until I realized it was a bit crazy.

If our fantasy's require a start at the ordinary,
What will become of us?
Why do we make stories about the normal,
When I'm not sure they exist?
Surely there is something I missed.

In life there are more variables than we can see,
But in the end it comes down to you and me,
So I can offer what I am,
Hoping its not everything you are,
And maybe we can return to normalcy.