As I near the end of my stay in Costa Rica I've started to reflect on things. I think, what has this trip meant to me? What have I done with it? Do I view the world differently? How have I been faithful (or unfaithful) with the opportunities given to me? These are hard questions, and ones that require a lot of honest reflection. Ones that I sometimes like the answers I'm coming up with, other times I don't like the answers I come up with.
To give a microcosm of my thoughts I keep coming back to our ISA Thanksgiving dinner. Some of the students parents were there and one of the dads wanted us to go around (all 30 or so of us lol) and tell what we are thankful for. As everyone was saying what they were thankful for, I started to probe the fathoms of my soul to find an answer. The word 'faithful' kept coming up. I haven't always been 'faithful' to my God, and I know I've disappointed my family and loved ones at times so I wondered why the word kept coming up in my mind. I eventually realized that despite my problems, trip-ups and mistakes, that above all things GOD HAS BEEN FAITHFUL. So when Chris's dad looked at me and said 'how about you mister thinker in the corner?' I knew exactly what I was thankful for.
In Spanish and then in English I proceeded to tell everyone how thankful I was for God's faithfulness during this whole trip. In short He has been faithful in all things, despite my fears, doubts, failures, and timidity.
During this whole trip He's kept me safe, He's allowed me to be challenged and He has helped me through the hard times and helped me enjoy the good ones. In the loneliness of my room I always knew my Savior was there, wiping the tears from my eyes and comforting me. When I tried to tell of Christ's love to others, He was there guiding my words. When I was so down that I could hardly get out of bed, He was there to encourage me. When I was so frustrated with the ridiculousness of school, He was there to give me the courage to speak up and He provided for a new professor for my class. When I was so frustrated with Spanish, I realized He knew all languages, He knew my words. When I fell, He was the first to pick me up and set me on my feet. God has kept me free from sickness, from danger and more. He has provided for me when I couldn't go on anymore. In my loneliness and depression He guided me to those who have gone before me in His Word that have made the same journey of faith. He has kept my family in good health and alive in His Spirit. He has comforted Cali in my temporary absence. He has blessed her family with the miracle of children. He has guided my brother through his first semester at school and all the trials that includes. He has encouraged my parents in the absence of their sons for the first time. He has kept Cali's parents safe in New Zealand. And He has never abandoned me. He has provided opportunities for me to share His love and salvation with many of my peers. He has shown me the poverty of this land, and given me a heart for them. He has allowed me to rub shoulders with his servants here who are preparing missionaries to go throughout the world. He has provided me a Church for encouragement, and He has provided me the understanding of a language to be able to connect with His body in Costa Rica.
In short, the Lord has been ever faithful to me in Costa Rica, just as He has throughout my life. He has been faithful to those I love, as He always has. How can I doubt my God's power? How could I have ever doubted His Providence? He is above all things and in control of all things. He is and was and is to come. He is my Lord and He saved me in His Son Christ Jesus. He is the Trinity, my God three-in-one. He is the Lord God Almighty and for Him I am thankful. For Him I am eternally grateful. And the more I think, I realize this trip wasn't ever about me, it was always about Him. In the midst of my solitude, He made Himself more apparent. And for that, what I deemed a failure many a time has been a portrait for God's faithfulness. Indeed we are only failures when we give up trying to walk close with the Lord. As David proved, a man after God's own heart is one that continues to truly seek God in humility even after falling flat on one's face. May I never stop seeking God in humility even in my failures, that I may not be defined by them.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Strength
If anything I know is true, I know this is true, man cannot exist without community. I pray for a community. A community of believers. Being in Costa Rica for the past three months makes me wonder what the early patriarchs felt being in a strange land. I wonder how Joseph felt being the only Israelite in all of Egypt. I wonder how Paul felt being in the prison in Rome for a number of years. He says in Romans 7:19 "For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do-this I keep on doing." He knew what it was to fight for Christ and feel defeated. We all feel that at some point. Some of us feel it more often than not. But later he says "Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand." (Romans 14:4) So there is hope. Insert your name where it says 'he' and you will know that you can stand. It just amazes me that at the end of Acts that Paul is chained to a guard and under house arrest, yet still it is written "Boldy and without hindrance he preached the kingdom of God and taught about the Lord Jesus Christ." (Acts 28:31) -God may I boldly preach your Kingdom without hindrance! Amen in Christ Jesus' Name.
Thank God we have Christ to help us stand, because surely not by our might can we stand. For this is the reason Paul says to the Philippians "I Paul have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Christ Jesus who gives me strength" (Philippians 4:11-13)
-God teach me to be able to do all things in Christ Jesus and HIS strength. In Christ Jesus Name, Amen.
Thank God we have Christ to help us stand, because surely not by our might can we stand. For this is the reason Paul says to the Philippians "I Paul have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Christ Jesus who gives me strength" (Philippians 4:11-13)
-God teach me to be able to do all things in Christ Jesus and HIS strength. In Christ Jesus Name, Amen.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Stepping Up To The Plate
Ok people, lets get a few things straight. Obama has just won the election. Thats fine, I'm not thrilled nor down because of this election. Why? Well, because I don't really think that the next President of the United States will change the course of history. Past Presidents have changed some aspects of the world, but surely everything. And it is for this reason that I fear for this nation, not because of who it elected, but because of the reasons why I percieve this president to have been elected (I could be wrong though). The common trend I'm seeing is that many people have pinned the entire future of our country on one person. In reality I feel that many of us felt like that is what this election was about, both republicans and democrats, the entire future of the country. But lets be honest with ourselves people, does the future of this country really rest in one man's hands? - I don't think so.
The future of this country rests in the hands of every American and what we decide to do with our hands on a daily basis. We can choose to do good, or we can manipulate truth and trade truth for a lie. We can use white lies in business negotiations, we can cheat on the test, we can wait another day to get involved in our Church's and communities, or we can do the opposite. We can be honest in our dealings with other people, even when it hurts. We can study harder for the test because we believe an honest grade is better than a fun night before the test. We can get involved in Church and be leaders, with both words AND ACTION. I'm speaking about myself here too, so don't get me wrong, we all have some responsibility in making our world a better place (if you believe in Christ, you make the world better in His Name).
But, we are in very grave danger when we become armchair citizens and give the government a mandate to fix everything. This armchair mentality lead to the nightmare that is social security, the HUGE MONEY spent on this election, the awful immigration laws that has allowed for a system of second-class citizens (illegal immigrants) who work hard and yet have little protection from worker exploitation because our laws don't apply fully to them. Because we have chosen to not take care of our environment, the government steps in to do what we should have been doing all along- making sure we leave a planet for our kids better than the one we were given. So lets do something about our country other than giving a huge check to the government to act like its fixing things. IT'S NOT!
Second thing (i'm probably going to get murdered for this one but i don't care)
There is no such thing as a 'white race,' a 'black race,' a 'mexican race,' or an 'asian race.' There is only a human race. We may have different ethnicities, countries of birth, etc, but we do not have different races. Barack Obama is not of a different race than me, just as much as I am not of a different race as the Costa Rican family I currently live with. We are AMERICANS, and we are united in that, not divided in it. Sure, the people of the world may look different, but lets get this clear, THAT ONLY SHOWS THE CREATIVITY OF THE LORD GOD ALMIGHTY! No one is superior to me because of how they look, nor is anyone inferior to me because of how they look. The only distinction God makes is between those who fear Him, and those that despise His ways. And even then, the Lord desires that "all men come to repentance."
Third,
Why are the political pundits talking about 'Confederate' states and 'Union' states? I mean, are you kidding me?! How long ago was the Civil War and we are still allowing ignorant people to be on tv talking about how the ideals of our ancestors still divide us? Most of the people in this country have family that immigrated after the Civil War, so lets allow ourselves to put that piece of history to rest, especially when grouping people together! Good grief! Lets not perpetuate the myth here people.
Fourth,
Pray for the world, and in this time pray for the United States. Especially those of us that are citizens should be concerned right now because we have become a country dependent on buying things we cannot afford, and every leader I've heard has only encouraged more of the same. We are now all more in debt to the government because we keep buying things we cannot afford. The housing 'crisis' is an example of us buying thing we truly cannot afford. Lets pray that the consumer demon that haunts our country is replaced by a country that gets back to the good things in its past where we spend wisely and realize that 'things' wont ever truly make us happy. Lets start investing in people, because they actually matter. Stuff doesn't truly matter. And those of us that accept Christ as Lord, lets invest in people for the Glory of God, that we may bring a smile to His face as we bring invest truth and love into people's lives.
Fifth,
Lets pray that for our new leaders in Washington that they may listen to Heavenly Wisdom in doing their part to make this country, and this world a better place.
The future of this country rests in the hands of every American and what we decide to do with our hands on a daily basis. We can choose to do good, or we can manipulate truth and trade truth for a lie. We can use white lies in business negotiations, we can cheat on the test, we can wait another day to get involved in our Church's and communities, or we can do the opposite. We can be honest in our dealings with other people, even when it hurts. We can study harder for the test because we believe an honest grade is better than a fun night before the test. We can get involved in Church and be leaders, with both words AND ACTION. I'm speaking about myself here too, so don't get me wrong, we all have some responsibility in making our world a better place (if you believe in Christ, you make the world better in His Name).
But, we are in very grave danger when we become armchair citizens and give the government a mandate to fix everything. This armchair mentality lead to the nightmare that is social security, the HUGE MONEY spent on this election, the awful immigration laws that has allowed for a system of second-class citizens (illegal immigrants) who work hard and yet have little protection from worker exploitation because our laws don't apply fully to them. Because we have chosen to not take care of our environment, the government steps in to do what we should have been doing all along- making sure we leave a planet for our kids better than the one we were given. So lets do something about our country other than giving a huge check to the government to act like its fixing things. IT'S NOT!
Second thing (i'm probably going to get murdered for this one but i don't care)
There is no such thing as a 'white race,' a 'black race,' a 'mexican race,' or an 'asian race.' There is only a human race. We may have different ethnicities, countries of birth, etc, but we do not have different races. Barack Obama is not of a different race than me, just as much as I am not of a different race as the Costa Rican family I currently live with. We are AMERICANS, and we are united in that, not divided in it. Sure, the people of the world may look different, but lets get this clear, THAT ONLY SHOWS THE CREATIVITY OF THE LORD GOD ALMIGHTY! No one is superior to me because of how they look, nor is anyone inferior to me because of how they look. The only distinction God makes is between those who fear Him, and those that despise His ways. And even then, the Lord desires that "all men come to repentance."
Third,
Why are the political pundits talking about 'Confederate' states and 'Union' states? I mean, are you kidding me?! How long ago was the Civil War and we are still allowing ignorant people to be on tv talking about how the ideals of our ancestors still divide us? Most of the people in this country have family that immigrated after the Civil War, so lets allow ourselves to put that piece of history to rest, especially when grouping people together! Good grief! Lets not perpetuate the myth here people.
Fourth,
Pray for the world, and in this time pray for the United States. Especially those of us that are citizens should be concerned right now because we have become a country dependent on buying things we cannot afford, and every leader I've heard has only encouraged more of the same. We are now all more in debt to the government because we keep buying things we cannot afford. The housing 'crisis' is an example of us buying thing we truly cannot afford. Lets pray that the consumer demon that haunts our country is replaced by a country that gets back to the good things in its past where we spend wisely and realize that 'things' wont ever truly make us happy. Lets start investing in people, because they actually matter. Stuff doesn't truly matter. And those of us that accept Christ as Lord, lets invest in people for the Glory of God, that we may bring a smile to His face as we bring invest truth and love into people's lives.
Fifth,
Lets pray that for our new leaders in Washington that they may listen to Heavenly Wisdom in doing their part to make this country, and this world a better place.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Piedras (rocks)
What motivates you?
It's a good question that I think very few of us ask ourselves. I was viewing the Teach For America website along with a private environmental consulting company in Lexington and it just came to me...what would motivate me if I ever found a future in either? I think that for me, the opportunity for a challenge motivates me. Can I do this? I have yet to find something that is too hard, it all depends on my determination. It's less about if I think something is the right fit and more about the opportunity to try something new. Life is full of new surprises, new opportunities and new adventure, however, we often miss them because we are so focused on one thing that it becomes difficult to take a hold of life's many obstacles and make them stepping stones. Our greatest challenges often open the very doors and truths we have been seeking. Let God help you turn your stumbling stones into bridges to the blessed future He has for you. Blessings in Christ.
-J
It's a good question that I think very few of us ask ourselves. I was viewing the Teach For America website along with a private environmental consulting company in Lexington and it just came to me...what would motivate me if I ever found a future in either? I think that for me, the opportunity for a challenge motivates me. Can I do this? I have yet to find something that is too hard, it all depends on my determination. It's less about if I think something is the right fit and more about the opportunity to try something new. Life is full of new surprises, new opportunities and new adventure, however, we often miss them because we are so focused on one thing that it becomes difficult to take a hold of life's many obstacles and make them stepping stones. Our greatest challenges often open the very doors and truths we have been seeking. Let God help you turn your stumbling stones into bridges to the blessed future He has for you. Blessings in Christ.
-J
Friday, October 10, 2008
Community
Most people have experienced the feeling of loneliness. I know it's something I've had to fight since coming to Costa Rica. It's not something I'm unaccustomed to, I've known the feeling of loneliness before...but that doesn't make it any easier. God told Abraham his descendants would be "strangers in a country not their own" (Acts 7:6). Indeed the Children of Israel knew what it was like to feel out of place. So this is should not be a new concept to me, but it never seems to be any easier. God doesn't promise an easy life, but He does promise to "never...leave"(Hebrews 13:5). That does bring me comfort though.
In any case when I've felt lonely, I start to clam up and further isolate myself. It's easy to pity oneself and try to just endure it solo. But the Bible is very clear that we can't survive in isolation, and that we have to continue to seek out a community of believers and live in fellowship with one another. Christ prays that we "may all be one" (John 17:21) and I can't be one with the Church if I clam up. But also, God calls us to go and "make disciples" (Matt.28:19) and this does not permit simply clinging to a Christian huddle either. So as I have been encouraged to keep trying, I encourage anyone else to not give up in trying to get out of the "shell" of selfism and be in community with other believers, as well as those who don't believe, that they may know Christ and make Him know!
-Glory to God in the Highest! Bless you Lord Jesus Christ! May I honor your Name today in my community and encourage the brothers and sisters while drawing more to You in Love and Repentance for the Glory of Your Name Jesus Christ. Amen!
In any case when I've felt lonely, I start to clam up and further isolate myself. It's easy to pity oneself and try to just endure it solo. But the Bible is very clear that we can't survive in isolation, and that we have to continue to seek out a community of believers and live in fellowship with one another. Christ prays that we "may all be one" (John 17:21) and I can't be one with the Church if I clam up. But also, God calls us to go and "make disciples" (Matt.28:19) and this does not permit simply clinging to a Christian huddle either. So as I have been encouraged to keep trying, I encourage anyone else to not give up in trying to get out of the "shell" of selfism and be in community with other believers, as well as those who don't believe, that they may know Christ and make Him know!
-Glory to God in the Highest! Bless you Lord Jesus Christ! May I honor your Name today in my community and encourage the brothers and sisters while drawing more to You in Love and Repentance for the Glory of Your Name Jesus Christ. Amen!
Saturday, September 6, 2008
stand and don't blink
What does it mean when a decision stares you in the face and you blink? I make decisions everyday, but I always "blink." Sometimes I think that it's just me taking time to be sure, other times I think it's because I'm unsure and unreliable. I want to be sure, at the same time I know that indecision can make the worst decision for you if you let it. It's a simple analogy, a benign daily occurance, but this situation has implications for much more in life.
-God I pray I stand on your principles daily and when looked in the eye by evil I stare back ever resolute in your promises and righteousness. I'm in a new world of different, but similar patterns of evil- new challenges to me that are nothing new under the sun. God here I stand with you-don't let me stand alone. Bring up others to stand with me in Christ Jesus. Amen. Psalm 119:29 & Proverbs 23:17,18.
-God I pray I stand on your principles daily and when looked in the eye by evil I stare back ever resolute in your promises and righteousness. I'm in a new world of different, but similar patterns of evil- new challenges to me that are nothing new under the sun. God here I stand with you-don't let me stand alone. Bring up others to stand with me in Christ Jesus. Amen. Psalm 119:29 & Proverbs 23:17,18.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Landing
So i just got here in Costa Rica! No problems or hiccups with the travel and my roommate is cool and my family is very kind. "Mama y Papa" as they like to be called are very kind and so far i understand most of what they are saying! I'm still a bit nervous about everything but I will just trust in the Lord to calm my nerves. Blessings on you all!
Proverbs 23:17-18
"Do not let our heart envy sinners, but always be zealous for the fear of the Lord. There is surely a future hope for you and your hope will not be cut off."
Proverbs 23:17-18
"Do not let our heart envy sinners, but always be zealous for the fear of the Lord. There is surely a future hope for you and your hope will not be cut off."
Friday, August 29, 2008
chillin'
I was hanging with some old friends of mine today and I realized how much things change with time. The perpetual "hands of time" never stop and if you blink you might miss something. It again reiterates the notion that we need to be thankful for what we have, when we have it/them. I just looked around Chagrin Falls and realized how far I've come since high school. I'm not saying I've achieved a whole lot, but I know I- along with everyone else I know- has changed considerably. We are all growing up and taking on new responsibilities and challenges in life.
Since growing up (and out for some of us) is such a natural force of life, I think the key to staying close with someone is growing up with them. It's like old couples talk about "growing old together," I think I need to learn how to grow up WITH someone, and not just by myself. Growing apart from familiar things doesn't mean one is maturing with time. Growing up is taking the good and the bad that life throws you and making it bend as much as possible with the will of God in your life. And making that happen with someone else is difficult (as I'm learning). It's easier to live alone, but who wants that? For a gregarious introvert like myself, I have to consciously make it a part of my life to pray, thing about and fellowship with others. It's too easy to get discouraged and pull my armor around me and hide. Sometimes thats what needs to happen, but most times you have to face your fears/desires/decisions/etc. and trust that each step you take, God's already established before you. Peace on ya'.
Since growing up (and out for some of us) is such a natural force of life, I think the key to staying close with someone is growing up with them. It's like old couples talk about "growing old together," I think I need to learn how to grow up WITH someone, and not just by myself. Growing apart from familiar things doesn't mean one is maturing with time. Growing up is taking the good and the bad that life throws you and making it bend as much as possible with the will of God in your life. And making that happen with someone else is difficult (as I'm learning). It's easier to live alone, but who wants that? For a gregarious introvert like myself, I have to consciously make it a part of my life to pray, thing about and fellowship with others. It's too easy to get discouraged and pull my armor around me and hide. Sometimes thats what needs to happen, but most times you have to face your fears/desires/decisions/etc. and trust that each step you take, God's already established before you. Peace on ya'.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Camp and Soccer
Today I came to the realization of how low on the proverbial "totem pole" I am. I am at this camp in eastern kentucky for my major and it counts as class credit. Well we had this stream survey we had to do, but the problem is none of us know about this stuff and we were told by our instructors to "figure it out" - nice. Yeah I get the idea that its team building and we did a good job, but it hit me how my cushy collegiate status really means nothing to anybody. For our instructors it was an exercise, and we were the guinea pigs - without our knowledge. Its like an experiment that means little to them, supposed to be beneficial to us, and makes me feel like a complete idiot- which i'm not. I dunno, I can understand if you want to make me feel like an idiot because I lost you a ton of money, or because I broke something important, but I was like a half-baked fish swimming the wrong way just because they decided to see how well we handled ourselves. I dunno, but when you pay extra money for a course, teach me the right way first and then let me see if I get a handle on it. I get more and more disillusioned with the wacky world of academia every day. Dunno maybe one day I'll get the same way with the real world, but at least thats the reality of it all, this is a weird little academic bubble that is artificially held in place by Uncle Sam and skyrocketing tuition. I'll mean, I'll jump through hoops, just let me know where they are first.
Some of the stuff that goes on in the academic world would cost you your job in the real world but it's normal here. Like paying more for office supplies because you have a contract with an office supplier. Or having your own expensive police squadron of castaway cops to guard the brightest young minds in the state, who don't do late-night emergency calls.
In all reality I just want to see what I can do with the whits the Good Lord gave me, maybe I'll flat on my face, or maybe I'll do ok. Something inside of me just wants to get out, I want to spread my wings and fly and have someone who has actually succeeded in a private enterprise show me a few of the ropes and what it takes to survive. Until then, and even in that time I'll just keep working diligently at the work God has given me. I can't complain because of the bountiful opportunities given to me...but I can let off a little frustration.
On another note: Major League Soccer and American soccer (real football). I watched the LA vs. ChivasUSA game tonight and I realized how much I cannot stand the LA team and franchise. This team pays butt-loads of money to bring in a foreign coach with a streaky track record and a GM without any success and the worlds biggest name is sports and roll the dice. Turns out the coach and GM get fired and the big player, well he's still pretty good. Then, on the other hand you have a struggling ChivasUSA franchise that has a good team, won some stuff last year but doesn't have the big names. These guys get treated by the league like second-class citizens to the LA team with a bunch of miss-fitting and often awful players. The broadcasters are practically cheering for the LA misfits and the league gives them not the regulated 1 Designated Player (whose salary doesn't count against the salary cap- each team got 1 DP slot last year) but 3 DP slots (unofficially)! Yeah and while they all talk about parity and all this crap, they give one team an unfair advantage and yet they still suck! And the ref's call the game for the LA misfits continually! All I have to say is wow, and I'm more of a ChivasUSA fan now than ever (second to the Columbus Crew!). My American soccer league doesn't need teams that are huge cash "blackholes" that play like a college team. Well thats my rant for the evening...
Some of the stuff that goes on in the academic world would cost you your job in the real world but it's normal here. Like paying more for office supplies because you have a contract with an office supplier. Or having your own expensive police squadron of castaway cops to guard the brightest young minds in the state, who don't do late-night emergency calls.
In all reality I just want to see what I can do with the whits the Good Lord gave me, maybe I'll flat on my face, or maybe I'll do ok. Something inside of me just wants to get out, I want to spread my wings and fly and have someone who has actually succeeded in a private enterprise show me a few of the ropes and what it takes to survive. Until then, and even in that time I'll just keep working diligently at the work God has given me. I can't complain because of the bountiful opportunities given to me...but I can let off a little frustration.
On another note: Major League Soccer and American soccer (real football). I watched the LA vs. ChivasUSA game tonight and I realized how much I cannot stand the LA team and franchise. This team pays butt-loads of money to bring in a foreign coach with a streaky track record and a GM without any success and the worlds biggest name is sports and roll the dice. Turns out the coach and GM get fired and the big player, well he's still pretty good. Then, on the other hand you have a struggling ChivasUSA franchise that has a good team, won some stuff last year but doesn't have the big names. These guys get treated by the league like second-class citizens to the LA team with a bunch of miss-fitting and often awful players. The broadcasters are practically cheering for the LA misfits and the league gives them not the regulated 1 Designated Player (whose salary doesn't count against the salary cap- each team got 1 DP slot last year) but 3 DP slots (unofficially)! Yeah and while they all talk about parity and all this crap, they give one team an unfair advantage and yet they still suck! And the ref's call the game for the LA misfits continually! All I have to say is wow, and I'm more of a ChivasUSA fan now than ever (second to the Columbus Crew!). My American soccer league doesn't need teams that are huge cash "blackholes" that play like a college team. Well thats my rant for the evening...
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Robinson Forest Camp
Today was the first day of Robinson Forest NRC camp. We did some tree identification today and that was fun. It's gonna be interesting having a class in a hands-on setting. We'll see how it goes, hopefully it will be interesting and I'm sure it will be beneficial. I'm more interested in the plant aspect of it all as well as the geology but we'll see. God blesses me daily with support in simple ways, such as getting my keys back out of my car after I locked them in there. Anyway blessings and peace to all. Dios te bendiga (God bless you).
Monday, July 7, 2008
A Return To Normalcy
I'm not letting this one slip by,
But something's driving me crazy and I don't know why,
A fairy tale,
Is exactly that,
But all I want is a return to normalcy.
You and I know the drill,
Love,
Hurt,
Forgive,
Repeat.
But it's at love that we always meet.
I see the castles in the sky,
But on Versailles road as I drive by,
Stop and stare,
Wondering if fairy tales are true,
Realizing its a lie.
In the story books,
Normal people become heroes,
Do extraordinary things,
I thought the normal was a bit hazy,
Until I realized it was a bit crazy.
If our fantasy's require a start at the ordinary,
What will become of us?
Why do we make stories about the normal,
When I'm not sure they exist?
Surely there is something I missed.
In life there are more variables than we can see,
But in the end it comes down to you and me,
So I can offer what I am,
Hoping its not everything you are,
And maybe we can return to normalcy.
But something's driving me crazy and I don't know why,
A fairy tale,
Is exactly that,
But all I want is a return to normalcy.
You and I know the drill,
Love,
Hurt,
Forgive,
Repeat.
But it's at love that we always meet.
I see the castles in the sky,
But on Versailles road as I drive by,
Stop and stare,
Wondering if fairy tales are true,
Realizing its a lie.
In the story books,
Normal people become heroes,
Do extraordinary things,
I thought the normal was a bit hazy,
Until I realized it was a bit crazy.
If our fantasy's require a start at the ordinary,
What will become of us?
Why do we make stories about the normal,
When I'm not sure they exist?
Surely there is something I missed.
In life there are more variables than we can see,
But in the end it comes down to you and me,
So I can offer what I am,
Hoping its not everything you are,
And maybe we can return to normalcy.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
inadequacy
I saw a video today that brought back the fresh feeling of inadequacy. I was a student leader on a missions trip to mexico my freshman year of college and one night we got the bright idea to pull an eyebrow prank on a fellow student. It's probably the worst decision I've ever made. It's all on video and I saw it tonight and I felt so terrible because I realized how much I screwed up on that trip. I missed the opportunity to be a true leader on the trip, but instead I was temporarily distracted by fun.
The Devil likes to distract us when we aren't paying attention. Then when we clue-in, we realize what we just did. This was the case on this trip. I wish there was some way to go back and re-do it all, but an "i'm so sorry" must suffice to all those affected.
But, I know I'm not alone in making mistakes. So what do we do when we feel like God surely can't forgive us for what we have done? It's like sitting in the middle of a desert with no water, and you are certain you are alone. The Bible teaches us that God is faithful to forgive us all our sins, but are we faithful enough to forgive ourselves and others? Thats probably the best question. Am I willing to forgive myself, and forgive others when they inevitably do wrong to me? The answer must be yes if I am to daily walk with God, because if He is willing to forgive me, I must be willing to also. God needs men and women after His own heart, and I guess it's a bit selfish to be scolding my own heart. It robs God of my attention and desire, and that's a deeper crime than any midnight prank.
The Devil likes to distract us when we aren't paying attention. Then when we clue-in, we realize what we just did. This was the case on this trip. I wish there was some way to go back and re-do it all, but an "i'm so sorry" must suffice to all those affected.
But, I know I'm not alone in making mistakes. So what do we do when we feel like God surely can't forgive us for what we have done? It's like sitting in the middle of a desert with no water, and you are certain you are alone. The Bible teaches us that God is faithful to forgive us all our sins, but are we faithful enough to forgive ourselves and others? Thats probably the best question. Am I willing to forgive myself, and forgive others when they inevitably do wrong to me? The answer must be yes if I am to daily walk with God, because if He is willing to forgive me, I must be willing to also. God needs men and women after His own heart, and I guess it's a bit selfish to be scolding my own heart. It robs God of my attention and desire, and that's a deeper crime than any midnight prank.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
How hard can it be?
I got frustrated today with a bunch of stuff. I haven't had a lot of down time for just me lately and while i enjoy company, at some point I need a break. Thats just how it is with me.
In any case, I was thinking today how I always do when I am with a bunch of people and realize I need to be alone. I was thinking about how important we make small stuff, myself included. Appearance, personal preferences, etc get made into a bigger deal than they ought. I mean who am I to tell someone that their appearance is unclassy, prepped up, whatever. God looks at the inside, not the outside anyway. I can't think of a time Jesus made a comment about how someone was dressed. David danced in his underwear before God even! So why is it that we get hung up on such small things all the time? What is the basis for our unwritten Christian dresscode anyway? I understand the controversy over some verses in 1 Corinthians but I will say that I think that some in the Church take them out of context. I was once told by a bible teacher "to be dogmatic about things essential to salvation, and not dogmatic about those that don't assure salvation." Now I think I can safely say that the Bible is pretty clear that salvation is assured through confession of Christ as Lord, not by dress or by biblical interpretation. I don't wish for all men to hold the same interpretation of the Bible, I simply wish for all men and women in the Church to take the time to understand other opinions about non-salvation matters in God's Word. I also wish that as fellow members of the Church, we stop condemning eachother over matters that do seem a bit grey. And I include myself in that number who needs to be more understanding and less judgemental towards fellow believers in Christ Jesus.
We all know that God's Word brings life, but there are some that manipulate it to their desires to the point that it makes it hard for God's breath to reach man's souls. Legalism and separationism are very real threats to Church unity these days. Catholics, Presbyterians, Baptists, Non-denominational, all fall under Christ's authority. Lets start acting like there is truly one opinion that counts anymore, that being Christ's. It's a hard task to undertake, to truly understand other Christian viewpoints better, but I stand convicted of the need for more grace given.
In any case, I was thinking today how I always do when I am with a bunch of people and realize I need to be alone. I was thinking about how important we make small stuff, myself included. Appearance, personal preferences, etc get made into a bigger deal than they ought. I mean who am I to tell someone that their appearance is unclassy, prepped up, whatever. God looks at the inside, not the outside anyway. I can't think of a time Jesus made a comment about how someone was dressed. David danced in his underwear before God even! So why is it that we get hung up on such small things all the time? What is the basis for our unwritten Christian dresscode anyway? I understand the controversy over some verses in 1 Corinthians but I will say that I think that some in the Church take them out of context. I was once told by a bible teacher "to be dogmatic about things essential to salvation, and not dogmatic about those that don't assure salvation." Now I think I can safely say that the Bible is pretty clear that salvation is assured through confession of Christ as Lord, not by dress or by biblical interpretation. I don't wish for all men to hold the same interpretation of the Bible, I simply wish for all men and women in the Church to take the time to understand other opinions about non-salvation matters in God's Word. I also wish that as fellow members of the Church, we stop condemning eachother over matters that do seem a bit grey. And I include myself in that number who needs to be more understanding and less judgemental towards fellow believers in Christ Jesus.
We all know that God's Word brings life, but there are some that manipulate it to their desires to the point that it makes it hard for God's breath to reach man's souls. Legalism and separationism are very real threats to Church unity these days. Catholics, Presbyterians, Baptists, Non-denominational, all fall under Christ's authority. Lets start acting like there is truly one opinion that counts anymore, that being Christ's. It's a hard task to undertake, to truly understand other Christian viewpoints better, but I stand convicted of the need for more grace given.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Last Weekend
So last weekend Cali and I went hiking at the Ravcn Run Wildlife Sanctuary and spent a few evenings at Coffea. Fun times! It's kinda nice to get out and literally smell the roses (and other spring fauna). I'm waiting for the cost of gas to equal that of tuition each semester but I can't imagine they
are far off! God bless you and yours! -Josiah
Friday, May 2, 2008
Friday, February 22, 2008
Pablo Neruda
This is a poem by the famous Chilean poet Pablo Neruda. I have provided the original spanish and an english translation (not by myself). Enjoy.
Poema 20
Puedo escribir los versos más tristes esta noche.
Poem 20
Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
Poema 20
Puedo escribir los versos más tristes esta noche.
Escribir, por ejemplo: «La noche está estrellada,
y tiritan, azules, los astros, a lo lejos».
El viento de la noche gira en el cielo y canta.
Puedo escribir los versos más tristes esta noche.
Yo la quise, y a veces ella también me quiso.
En las noches como ésta la tuve entre mis brazos.
La besé tantas veces bajo el cielo infinito.
Ella me quiso, a veces yo también la quería.
Cómo no haber amado sus grandes ojos fijos.
Puedo escribir los versos más tristes esta noche.
Pensar que no la tengo. Sentir que la he perdido.
Oír la noche inmensa, más inmensa sin ella.
Y el verso cae al alma como al pasto el rocío.
Qué importa que mi amor no pudiera guardarla.
La noche está estrellada y ella no está conmigo.
Eso es todo. A lo lejos alguien canta. A lo lejos.
Mi alma no se contenta con haberla perdido.
Como para acercarla mi mirada la busca.
Mi corazón la busca, y ella no está conmigo.
La misma noche que hace blanquear los mismos árboles.
Nosotros, los de entonces, ya no somos los mismos.
Ya no la quiero, es cierto, pero cuánto la quise.
Mi voz buscaba el viento para tocar su oído.
De otro. Será de otro. Como antes de mis besos.
Su voz, su cuerpo claro. Sus ojos infinitos.
Ya no la quiero, es cierto, pero tal vez la quiero.
Es tan corto el amor, y es tan largo el olvido.
Porque en noches como ésta la tuve entre mis brazos,
Mi alma no se contenta con haberla perdido.
Aunque éste sea el último dolor que ella me causa,
y éstos sean los últimos versos que yo le escribo.
Poem 20
Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
Write, for example, "The night is starry
and the stars are blue and shiver in the distance."
The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.
Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.
Through nights like this one I held her in my arms.
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.
She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.
Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.
To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.
What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is starry and she is not with me.
This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.
My sight tries to find her as though to bring her closer.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.
The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.
I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.
Another's. She will be another's. As she was before my kisses.
Her voice, her bright body. Her infinite eyes.
I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.
Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms,
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.
Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer,
and these the last verses that I write for her.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
" and to walk humbly with your God"
So many times lately I've found myself so wound up about stuff. And most of the things I get worked up about are important things, but I can't solve them alone, and I can only do so much. So this is in response to my last post.
Stuff. God is concerned with our stuff. He is concerned with you and I, and thus He cares about all the stuff in our life. But the key is that since He is concerned with all aspects of our lives, we can let them go and surrender them to God and walk in peace.
I am reminded of the verse in Micah 6:8 where the Lord says " he has shown you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." Lately I have felt like Martha, running around wanting to do so much and kicking myself because I didn't do it or didn't do all that I wanted to do (or maybe missed a thing or two because I was exhausted and slept a bit too long). But this morning I just felt God telling me to relax. I have enough stuff on my plate. And throughout college I have just kept coming back to one word-STEWARDSHIP. God is telling me to stop thinking about what I am going to do tomorrow or in the future, or even in the next couple of hours. I am thinking too much. I know I'm not the only one who has this issue. But God was just reminding me to stay faithful to my studies, to work and to the people I am around, and taking the time to rest in His arms because I need that spiritual rest in order to grow as God wants me to.
God still encourages us to dream, but to also find Him in our everyday lives. Some times I think, "well my life isn't super exciting." But we all find ourselves in that situation from time to time. It's ok, we have to have those times or we wouldn't appreciate the stirring times as much. And quite frankly God is using that to remind me that it is about Him. My world tells me that I am the most important thing and that I am the future, but what is the future without God in it? And truthfully we have no significance in and of ourselves. God gives us significance, and without Him we wander around aimlessly. Yes God wants to do great things in us, but it is NEVER because of ourselves that anything great is achieved. Anytime I do something significant in my life it is always IN SPITE OF MYSELF. Because if we look at God's Word, it was never about Israel, it was never about the Disciples, it was all about God and how amazing HE IS that He has done these great things, even with us. He makes us beautiful, and I can be at peace in that. And as far as getting things done, I feel Him calling me to "pray without ceasing" (1 Thessalonians). Simply to pray, for there i am humbled and then God hears me from heaven. There I say "You Are..." and in a quiet way worship because HE IS.
May God bless you with a greater understanding of how He is beautiful in you and He gives mankind and the natural world it's beauty. And may this lead you to worship him in your daily life and be able to find significance in His beauty. Amen.
Stuff. God is concerned with our stuff. He is concerned with you and I, and thus He cares about all the stuff in our life. But the key is that since He is concerned with all aspects of our lives, we can let them go and surrender them to God and walk in peace.
I am reminded of the verse in Micah 6:8 where the Lord says " he has shown you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." Lately I have felt like Martha, running around wanting to do so much and kicking myself because I didn't do it or didn't do all that I wanted to do (or maybe missed a thing or two because I was exhausted and slept a bit too long). But this morning I just felt God telling me to relax. I have enough stuff on my plate. And throughout college I have just kept coming back to one word-STEWARDSHIP. God is telling me to stop thinking about what I am going to do tomorrow or in the future, or even in the next couple of hours. I am thinking too much. I know I'm not the only one who has this issue. But God was just reminding me to stay faithful to my studies, to work and to the people I am around, and taking the time to rest in His arms because I need that spiritual rest in order to grow as God wants me to.
God still encourages us to dream, but to also find Him in our everyday lives. Some times I think, "well my life isn't super exciting." But we all find ourselves in that situation from time to time. It's ok, we have to have those times or we wouldn't appreciate the stirring times as much. And quite frankly God is using that to remind me that it is about Him. My world tells me that I am the most important thing and that I am the future, but what is the future without God in it? And truthfully we have no significance in and of ourselves. God gives us significance, and without Him we wander around aimlessly. Yes God wants to do great things in us, but it is NEVER because of ourselves that anything great is achieved. Anytime I do something significant in my life it is always IN SPITE OF MYSELF. Because if we look at God's Word, it was never about Israel, it was never about the Disciples, it was all about God and how amazing HE IS that He has done these great things, even with us. He makes us beautiful, and I can be at peace in that. And as far as getting things done, I feel Him calling me to "pray without ceasing" (1 Thessalonians). Simply to pray, for there i am humbled and then God hears me from heaven. There I say "You Are..." and in a quiet way worship because HE IS.
May God bless you with a greater understanding of how He is beautiful in you and He gives mankind and the natural world it's beauty. And may this lead you to worship him in your daily life and be able to find significance in His beauty. Amen.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Enough!
We as a generation of young people have some things to think about, or maybe i just have some things to think about. We live in a generation where we have everything at our fingertips but little of it is worth anything. In fact most of the things society tells us we need, or should have is a bunch of garbage.
Beyond that we have a huge election coming up with puppet leaders whose sole purpose is to be a professional politician- a profession I regret exists. And yet some of our countries greatest problems are staring us in the face, unwilling to budge until we either fix them or push them out of the way until next time. In fact, forget politicians, they haven't served this country since the days of Washington and Lincoln. Did you know that the American people wanted to make George Washington king and he refused?! Imagine one of our inspiring leaders of no consequence doing the same thing!
And if you are a college student like me, how can you not be enraged at the $20,000 to $30,000 price tag on a decent education these days. And even at that money at least half of your classes will be in classrooms filled with 100+ people if you go the public route. Where are the politicians giving a care about that?
In all reality I'm tired of letting somebody else making my bed for me. I don't trust Hillobamliani to solve these issues. I don't know how but I think it's time our generation stand up and make something of this. We are smarter than any other generation before us. We have more opportunity and ingenuity than we know what to do with. So instead of giving up and playing video games or wasting time wondering who's gonna win a screen actors guild award, maybe, just maybe we could do something. From economics to agriculture to marketing to medicine, we know enough, even now to make a difference. Lets dare to dream, and then when God gives us those dreams, lets trust Him enough that if we step out and put our best foot forward that He will provide the stairs to higher ground. This is my prayer for my generation; that we do what God gives us to do, regardless of how tough it is. That we aspire to make a positive difference in the world in the example of Christ Jesus- obedient, faithful, joyous, determined and full of compassion and love, with enough forgiveness to know that falling isn't the problem, as long as you rise to your feet again. To know that impossible is nothing- not with adidas, but with God.
I have been haunted by this quote this week and I strongly feel it applies to women as well as men. Edmund Burke said "ALL THAT IS NECESSARY FOR THE TRIUMPH OF EVIL IS THAT GOOD MEN DO NOTHING." This world is constantly looking for someone worthy enough to follow. We emulate people from the red carpet to the podium to a level which they don't deserve just because they are dynamic or are great public speakers. I argue that even in the Church that we follow people to often, instead of following Christ. Let us "be as cunning as snakes but as innocent as doves" (Matthew 10:16). But in the end I can say whatever I want to but if I have not faith, love and deeds my words are empty. And I will let you down. But Christ has put his faith into action, loved until he bled and died because you are worth it. So let us use the Ultimate Inspiration to change your sphere of influence for the better, and may your sphere of influence grow all the larger. Blessings and peace in the Lord Jesus Christ.
Beyond that we have a huge election coming up with puppet leaders whose sole purpose is to be a professional politician- a profession I regret exists. And yet some of our countries greatest problems are staring us in the face, unwilling to budge until we either fix them or push them out of the way until next time. In fact, forget politicians, they haven't served this country since the days of Washington and Lincoln. Did you know that the American people wanted to make George Washington king and he refused?! Imagine one of our inspiring leaders of no consequence doing the same thing!
And if you are a college student like me, how can you not be enraged at the $20,000 to $30,000 price tag on a decent education these days. And even at that money at least half of your classes will be in classrooms filled with 100+ people if you go the public route. Where are the politicians giving a care about that?
In all reality I'm tired of letting somebody else making my bed for me. I don't trust Hillobamliani to solve these issues. I don't know how but I think it's time our generation stand up and make something of this. We are smarter than any other generation before us. We have more opportunity and ingenuity than we know what to do with. So instead of giving up and playing video games or wasting time wondering who's gonna win a screen actors guild award, maybe, just maybe we could do something. From economics to agriculture to marketing to medicine, we know enough, even now to make a difference. Lets dare to dream, and then when God gives us those dreams, lets trust Him enough that if we step out and put our best foot forward that He will provide the stairs to higher ground. This is my prayer for my generation; that we do what God gives us to do, regardless of how tough it is. That we aspire to make a positive difference in the world in the example of Christ Jesus- obedient, faithful, joyous, determined and full of compassion and love, with enough forgiveness to know that falling isn't the problem, as long as you rise to your feet again. To know that impossible is nothing- not with adidas, but with God.
I have been haunted by this quote this week and I strongly feel it applies to women as well as men. Edmund Burke said "ALL THAT IS NECESSARY FOR THE TRIUMPH OF EVIL IS THAT GOOD MEN DO NOTHING." This world is constantly looking for someone worthy enough to follow. We emulate people from the red carpet to the podium to a level which they don't deserve just because they are dynamic or are great public speakers. I argue that even in the Church that we follow people to often, instead of following Christ. Let us "be as cunning as snakes but as innocent as doves" (Matthew 10:16). But in the end I can say whatever I want to but if I have not faith, love and deeds my words are empty. And I will let you down. But Christ has put his faith into action, loved until he bled and died because you are worth it. So let us use the Ultimate Inspiration to change your sphere of influence for the better, and may your sphere of influence grow all the larger. Blessings and peace in the Lord Jesus Christ.
Monday, January 14, 2008
Winter Times
Going home (which is such a revolving term anyway) was excellent. It's wierd because when I told people I was going up north I told them I was going home and when I came back down south I told them I was comming back home. My immediate earthly (and spiritual) family makes any place home for me, but thankfully the rest of my church family makes any other place I am home for me as well.
This past week was amazing, hard, intense, fun and depressing all at once. During the week I felt compelled to make quick work of all the things I've been meaning to get done. I feel as I grow up that I will have to continue to be more on top of things. Beyond that, things began to shape up as far as the rest of the year is concerned, God willing. I think I have an internship lined up now and I plan to study in Costa Rica in the fall. I have prayed for both things for well over a year and God has blessed me with both, reminding me that while everything doesn't always go as I want it to, that He does bless me beyond what I deserve.
In doing so I really felt motivated to make this semester really count and to squeeze everthing out of it as God leads me. I really want to make Christ's love shown to others in a more authentic and purposeful way. As I push forward in this I pray with confidence that Christ will use me for His Glory and bring me in contact with others who will both encourage me and those who are searching for Love.
So for this semester I pray two things: that I may love God more and that I may somehow bless His heart despite myself. I pray you all be blessed this semester and the rest of the year in Christ Jesus and that His light may reveal the path at your feet as you search, explore and even fall at His feet.
This past week was amazing, hard, intense, fun and depressing all at once. During the week I felt compelled to make quick work of all the things I've been meaning to get done. I feel as I grow up that I will have to continue to be more on top of things. Beyond that, things began to shape up as far as the rest of the year is concerned, God willing. I think I have an internship lined up now and I plan to study in Costa Rica in the fall. I have prayed for both things for well over a year and God has blessed me with both, reminding me that while everything doesn't always go as I want it to, that He does bless me beyond what I deserve.
In doing so I really felt motivated to make this semester really count and to squeeze everthing out of it as God leads me. I really want to make Christ's love shown to others in a more authentic and purposeful way. As I push forward in this I pray with confidence that Christ will use me for His Glory and bring me in contact with others who will both encourage me and those who are searching for Love.
So for this semester I pray two things: that I may love God more and that I may somehow bless His heart despite myself. I pray you all be blessed this semester and the rest of the year in Christ Jesus and that His light may reveal the path at your feet as you search, explore and even fall at His feet.
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