Pablo Neruda

This is a poem by the famous Chilean poet Pablo Neruda. I have provided the original spanish and an english translation (not by myself). Enjoy.
Poema 20

Puedo escribir los versos más tristes esta noche.

Escribir, por ejemplo: «La noche está estrellada,
y tiritan, azules, los astros, a lo lejos».

El viento de la noche gira en el cielo y canta.

Puedo escribir los versos más tristes esta noche.
Yo la quise, y a veces ella también me quiso.

En las noches como ésta la tuve entre mis brazos.
La besé tantas veces bajo el cielo infinito.

Ella me quiso, a veces yo también la quería.
Cómo no haber amado sus grandes ojos fijos.

Puedo escribir los versos más tristes esta noche.
Pensar que no la tengo. Sentir que la he perdido.

Oír la noche inmensa, más inmensa sin ella.
Y el verso cae al alma como al pasto el rocío.

Qué importa que mi amor no pudiera guardarla.
La noche está estrellada y ella no está conmigo.

Eso es todo. A lo lejos alguien canta. A lo lejos.
Mi alma no se contenta con haberla perdido.

Como para acercarla mi mirada la busca.
Mi corazón la busca, y ella no está conmigo.

La misma noche que hace blanquear los mismos árboles.
Nosotros, los de entonces, ya no somos los mismos.

Ya no la quiero, es cierto, pero cuánto la quise.
Mi voz buscaba el viento para tocar su oído.

De otro. Será de otro. Como antes de mis besos.
Su voz, su cuerpo claro. Sus ojos infinitos.

Ya no la quiero, es cierto, pero tal vez la quiero.
Es tan corto el amor, y es tan largo el olvido.

Porque en noches como ésta la tuve entre mis brazos,
Mi alma no se contenta con haberla perdido.

Aunque éste sea el último dolor que ella me causa,
y éstos sean los últimos versos que yo le escribo.

Poem 20
Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write, for example, "The night is starry
and the stars are blue and shiver in the distance."

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one I held her in my arms.
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.

To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is starry and she is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight tries to find her as though to bring her closer.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.

Another's. She will be another's. As she was before my kisses.
Her voice, her bright body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms,
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer,
and these the last verses that I write for her.

" and to walk humbly with your God"

So many times lately I've found myself so wound up about stuff. And most of the things I get worked up about are important things, but I can't solve them alone, and I can only do so much. So this is in response to my last post.

Stuff. God is concerned with our stuff. He is concerned with you and I, and thus He cares about all the stuff in our life. But the key is that since He is concerned with all aspects of our lives, we can let them go and surrender them to God and walk in peace.

I am reminded of the verse in Micah 6:8 where the Lord says " he has shown you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." Lately I have felt like Martha, running around wanting to do so much and kicking myself because I didn't do it or didn't do all that I wanted to do (or maybe missed a thing or two because I was exhausted and slept a bit too long). But this morning I just felt God telling me to relax. I have enough stuff on my plate. And throughout college I have just kept coming back to one word-STEWARDSHIP. God is telling me to stop thinking about what I am going to do tomorrow or in the future, or even in the next couple of hours. I am thinking too much. I know I'm not the only one who has this issue. But God was just reminding me to stay faithful to my studies, to work and to the people I am around, and taking the time to rest in His arms because I need that spiritual rest in order to grow as God wants me to.

God still encourages us to dream, but to also find Him in our everyday lives. Some times I think, "well my life isn't super exciting." But we all find ourselves in that situation from time to time. It's ok, we have to have those times or we wouldn't appreciate the stirring times as much. And quite frankly God is using that to remind me that it is about Him. My world tells me that I am the most important thing and that I am the future, but what is the future without God in it? And truthfully we have no significance in and of ourselves. God gives us significance, and without Him we wander around aimlessly. Yes God wants to do great things in us, but it is NEVER because of ourselves that anything great is achieved. Anytime I do something significant in my life it is always IN SPITE OF MYSELF. Because if we look at God's Word, it was never about Israel, it was never about the Disciples, it was all about God and how amazing HE IS that He has done these great things, even with us. He makes us beautiful, and I can be at peace in that. And as far as getting things done, I feel Him calling me to "pray without ceasing" (1 Thessalonians). Simply to pray, for there i am humbled and then God hears me from heaven. There I say "You Are..." and in a quiet way worship because HE IS.

May God bless you with a greater understanding of how He is beautiful in you and He gives mankind and the natural world it's beauty. And may this lead you to worship him in your daily life and be able to find significance in His beauty. Amen.

Enough!

We as a generation of young people have some things to think about, or maybe i just have some things to think about. We live in a generation where we have everything at our fingertips but little of it is worth anything. In fact most of the things society tells us we need, or should have is a bunch of garbage.

Beyond that we have a huge election coming up with puppet leaders whose sole purpose is to be a professional politician- a profession I regret exists. And yet some of our countries greatest problems are staring us in the face, unwilling to budge until we either fix them or push them out of the way until next time. In fact, forget politicians, they haven't served this country since the days of Washington and Lincoln. Did you know that the American people wanted to make George Washington king and he refused?! Imagine one of our inspiring leaders of no consequence doing the same thing!

And if you are a college student like me, how can you not be enraged at the $20,000 to $30,000 price tag on a decent education these days. And even at that money at least half of your classes will be in classrooms filled with 100+ people if you go the public route. Where are the politicians giving a care about that?

In all reality I'm tired of letting somebody else making my bed for me. I don't trust Hillobamliani to solve these issues. I don't know how but I think it's time our generation stand up and make something of this. We are smarter than any other generation before us. We have more opportunity and ingenuity than we know what to do with. So instead of giving up and playing video games or wasting time wondering who's gonna win a screen actors guild award, maybe, just maybe we could do something. From economics to agriculture to marketing to medicine, we know enough, even now to make a difference. Lets dare to dream, and then when God gives us those dreams, lets trust Him enough that if we step out and put our best foot forward that He will provide the stairs to higher ground. This is my prayer for my generation; that we do what God gives us to do, regardless of how tough it is. That we aspire to make a positive difference in the world in the example of Christ Jesus- obedient, faithful, joyous, determined and full of compassion and love, with enough forgiveness to know that falling isn't the problem, as long as you rise to your feet again. To know that impossible is nothing- not with adidas, but with God.

I have been haunted by this quote this week and I strongly feel it applies to women as well as men. Edmund Burke said "ALL THAT IS NECESSARY FOR THE TRIUMPH OF EVIL IS THAT GOOD MEN DO NOTHING." This world is constantly looking for someone worthy enough to follow. We emulate people from the red carpet to the podium to a level which they don't deserve just because they are dynamic or are great public speakers. I argue that even in the Church that we follow people to often, instead of following Christ. Let us "be as cunning as snakes but as innocent as doves" (Matthew 10:16). But in the end I can say whatever I want to but if I have not faith, love and deeds my words are empty. And I will let you down. But Christ has put his faith into action, loved until he bled and died because you are worth it. So let us use the Ultimate Inspiration to change your sphere of influence for the better, and may your sphere of influence grow all the larger. Blessings and peace in the Lord Jesus Christ.

Winter Times

Going home (which is such a revolving term anyway) was excellent. It's wierd because when I told people I was going up north I told them I was going home and when I came back down south I told them I was comming back home. My immediate earthly (and spiritual) family makes any place home for me, but thankfully the rest of my church family makes any other place I am home for me as well.

This past week was amazing, hard, intense, fun and depressing all at once. During the week I felt compelled to make quick work of all the things I've been meaning to get done. I feel as I grow up that I will have to continue to be more on top of things. Beyond that, things began to shape up as far as the rest of the year is concerned, God willing. I think I have an internship lined up now and I plan to study in Costa Rica in the fall. I have prayed for both things for well over a year and God has blessed me with both, reminding me that while everything doesn't always go as I want it to, that He does bless me beyond what I deserve.

In doing so I really felt motivated to make this semester really count and to squeeze everthing out of it as God leads me. I really want to make Christ's love shown to others in a more authentic and purposeful way. As I push forward in this I pray with confidence that Christ will use me for His Glory and bring me in contact with others who will both encourage me and those who are searching for Love.

So for this semester I pray two things: that I may love God more and that I may somehow bless His heart despite myself. I pray you all be blessed this semester and the rest of the year in Christ Jesus and that His light may reveal the path at your feet as you search, explore and even fall at His feet.

Exciting Times

Today I sat and began to really think about internship opportunities for myself for this coming summer. I got really excited about two ideas in particular. One is to contact a company called Counter Culture Coffee out of Durham, N.C. about an internship. This excites me because of their commitment to sustainably grown coffees and it's location in a state I am familiar with and love. The second is the possibility of doing an internship with some grassroots sustainable agriculture groups in Ecuador that could be arranged through UK and one of my professors. Both really get my heart pumping. Now I just need to pray about them more and seek God's direction in which way He would have me go. I just pray God continues to blossom a heart for the 'minusvalidos' or less fortunate and that I take practical steps every day to exercising that passion. Christ lead and guide me, making your Name glorified and your kingdom of love expressed to more people daily through your Church. Amen.

Learning to Fly

This past week has been hard. No sugar coating it, I've felt so helpless in so many areas and it drives me crazy. It's that feeling like something is wrong and you want to fix it but you can't, not because you can't fix something someone has done to you, but because you can't fix something you've done to yourself. Whether it is a situation you have put yourself in, your word you can't break, circumstances you can't change, or even a class you don't want to go to anymore there are tons of things in our lives we have to deal with that we can't change at this moment in time. But I think God blesses us with these things to make us stronger and rely on him more.

For example, I have never in my life had to really watch my money before. I've never been a big spender but a budget wasn't really a necessity. But God is using this to make me more tender to him. He's making me trust in Him like my Majestic Father who freely gives to me as I need it. That doesn't mean I spend like crazy and just chalk it up to 'God will provide', but like Jesus says in Matthew 7:7 "ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." Granted that doesn't mean God will always give us what we want or open the doors we want opened but He promises to give us good gifts.

Furthermore, God has been assuring me in my prayer time. So often I find it hard to pray deeply. I think that if my mind begins to wander while in prayer that somehow I will be sinning against God with my mind. But from reading Genesis 17 it reminded me that God is a God of covenants. He has promised to continue dwelling in me in His Holy Spirit by Grace in Christ Jesus.

Furthermore, God doesn't want bad things to happen in our lives. He exists as our Comfortor, not our tormentor as sometimes I am duped into confusing the two. God is a God of love and compassion, mercy and, in this season especially, a God of grace. The Bible says He is holding back his wrath against us for the time being. God is still just but we are in a time of Grace. I just have to remind myself of his promises daily. We are filled with the fullness of Christ (Colossians 2:9), all believers now and to come are God's chosen people (Colossians 3:12) and that we can have peace in Christ (Colossians 3:15) and that we are truly blessed in Christ Jesus (Ephesians 1:3). And one thing I have begun to learn lately (partly due to Israel Houghton and his gospel music) is that being blessed is a permanent state of being in Christ Jesus. Being blessed has less to do with physical means and more in being supremely called and loved by Christ Jesus. Indeed all men are blessed by Christ Jesus in the promise of salvation. His salvation is all encompassing and is given freely to ALL. "Therefore there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" (Romans 8:1) God's blessings and peace to you all as He has truly blessed me this week with His quiet comfort and peace.

He never gives up on us

I think everyday God tries to mature me in Him whether I ask for it or not, which I am thankful for. Today I'm trying to learn to just plug forward doing what I know to do and trust God for the rest. I can't control so much that goes on in my life, and the more I do, the more it spirals out of control.

I was reading the story of Peter and Jesus today when Jesus asks Peter three times if he loves Him. I never got it until today that Jesus asked him three times because thats how many times Peter denied Jesus. But the interesting thing is that Jesus left it at that. I'm sure it had to hurt Jesus tremendously that the person whom he called "the rock" denied him in his hour of utmost need. But Jesus simply affirmed that Peter loved him and left it at that. He didn't pull out a litany of things Peter has done wrong or make an example of him before the other disciples. HE FORGIVES HIM!

But let this be a lesson of true forgiveness. Jesus not only never mentiones it again, he tells Peter that he will build the church upon him. Jesus offers true forgiveness, where he moves past the fact and even gives Peter new responsibilities and trusts him. I was really moved by this in that Jesus goes beyond forgetting our sins and stupid stuff, he trusts us with more if we genuinely seek Him. If we truly call ourselves his followers he will not only forgive, but bless us more. Praise be to God! This was encouraging to me in light of my reflections on all my mistakes and unfaithulness to God. Indeed God is proved righteous and loving and just in all he does. He doesn't keep us down, he honestly desires for us to succeed, which is something I often doubt in myself. I thank God for this assurance as He alone can give me the confidence I need to live beyond myself. To live for Christ and to live with integrity and perseverance and love. Glory to God in the Highest!